Hilarious
by dreaming-alien
Summary: Lily has a boyfriend and jealous James fights with a frustrated Sirius. One Shot, based on a roleplay. rated K for language. Enjoy! :-)


James was not on his best game. Gryffindor was playing against Hufflepuff who, luckily that day, had a rubbish team; because he was playing terribly.

But of course, it wasn't his fault. It was Evans' fault and her twat of a boyfriend. The pair were sitting in the stands but weren't exactly paying attention. Lily was watching the game but every thirty seconds he would distract her either with some -surely stupid, James liked to think- story or a kiss to her neck or her lips. James seethed trying not to watch.

He was extremely relieved when his team finally caught the snitch, just managing to win the match. James flew down to the ground, a frown on his face as he headed straight to the changing rooms. Sirius, who had been encouraging James all along the game –even though he was too busy checking on Evans' and her twat-of-a-boyfriend, as he liked to call him, to notice-, felt personally offended when James landed and stormed off to the changing rooms without even bothering to wait for him.

"Teenage boys…" He sighed heavily.

Sirius shook his head exasperatedly and landed down on the ground, fixed his shaggy hair and made his way to the changing rooms, indifferent to the ladies' cheering as he crossed the pitch.

James was battling with the brooms when Sirius had finally arrived. The goddamn door wouldn't close itself properly, and the engines kept falling on my one on James as he tried to hold them all at once. Sirius tried very hard not to laugh as he leaned against the door, eyeing his best friend with raised eyebrows. James sighed and he remained still for a split second, when suddenly a loud war cry escaped from his lungs as he throw all the broomsticks back in the cupboard and kicked the door violently. It was probably as stunned and frightened as Sirius was by James' behavior, for it remained closed at last.

"Jeez, Prongs! What did it do to you to deserve such treatment?"

James' eyes widened as he glanced towards Sirius, and his surprised gaze immediately switched into a glare at the sight of him.

"Didn't the idea of giving me a hand come across your mind at least once while you were standing there like a git?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"I'm afraid that's Evans' job, mate. Not that I'm not interested…" Sirius winked at him.

"I'm not in the mood, _Sirius_." James said bitterly as began taking off his Quidditch uniform.

"You do realize that you're currently acting like a hormonal 13 years old teenage girl, right?" That earned him another glare from James, but Sirius didn't regret his words one slightest bit. "What about our victory handshake, Prongs? Our _Victory Handshake_ , for Merlin's sake! It's a _ritual_! You act like you don't care! What if we become losers, mh? That'll be because of you, sulky head!"

"Merlin, Sirius! Shut up! SHUT-UP!" James spun around to face him and yelled at the top of his lungs. Sirius' jaw clenched and he turned his back to James. "I forgot." James finally said, shrugging. "Besides, we made that handshake when we were 12. Don't you think you're a bit too old for that, Pads?"

Sirius' jaw fell a little in an offended fashion and he turned back around to face James.

" _A bit too old,_ aye? How about you stalking on Evans in the library, how mature is that?" Sirius said, poking James on the chest. "Who the hell do you think you are? You've been like this ever since she started dating that dork, and now you blame _me_ for trying to save our friendship?"

James gazed at Sirius for a moment, trying to find a way to contradict him, in vain. He huffed slightly and ran a hand through his hair.

"I just don't get it. I mean, why would you even bother going to a game if you weren't going to watch it?" He said frustratedly as he stepped around the room.

"Maybe she's trying to get your attention." Sirius shrugged.

James paused before raising an eyebrow. He thought of playing it off but decided there was no point.

"She wasn't."

"Oh come on!" Sirius sighed heavily, rolling his eyes. "Evans is way too prude to behave like this in public. Clearly she wanted to be seen, mate!"

"Clearly she's not a prude. I mean did you even bother looking at them?!" James made a face, leaning back against the lockers. "He's just a dick."

Sirius knew Lily's boyfriend, Amos Diggory. He was a Hufflepuff and probably the purest, cheesiest dude he knew; apart from Moony; He was far from being a dick.

"Yeah, totally…" He cleared his throat, looking away.

"He _is_ a dick." James repeated firmly, glaring at him.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably, casually rubbing his chin.

"If baking cakes for the House Elves makes you a dick, than yes, Prongs, he is a dick." He swallowed hard, expecting the worst reaction from James.

James' eyes narrowed.

"If I say he's a dick, than he's a dick. That's the rules, and it's your duty as my best pal to agree with me!" James huffed, grabbed his towel and slammed his locker. "I'm going for a shower."

"Oh alright then, Cap!" Sirius answered, pissed off by James' attitude. "Moody git…" He muttered as he headed for the shower cabin next to the one James had just entered.

"I heard that, asshole."

"I don't even know why you're stuck on that bird, Prongs, she's driving you mental! Can't you just see there are plenty of hot ladies having wet dreams about you and literally asking for your body? No! Cause you're just being stubborn!" He sighed as he turned on the water. "I'll never get that."

James didn't answer immediately, for he took the time to realize what he was about to say.

"She's not just some bird, Sirius." He said distractedly, staring at the wall before him. "She's the one."

"See? Mental!" Sirius shouted.

"Oh fuck off." James said as he hurried to get out of the shower, hoping he would escape from here before the rest of the team got a chance to catch him.

"You-!" Sirius began, but his words died in throat; the noisy team had walked in the changing rooms.

James cursed under his breath and Sirius bit hard on his tongue not to explode in anger, dark thoughts running through his mind. James cut the water and walked out, avoiding all the gazes. He began dressing up quickly; luckily, aside from the little snickers, no one made any comment on his game. He shrugged it off, too upset to deal with it, and left the changing rooms without waiting for Sirius. The latter walked out as well and dressed up quickly, before storming out to catch up with James, who was heading back to the castle.

"The fact that you have a problem with Diggory doesn't give you the right to speak to me that way, Potter!" He hissed once he had reached him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" James snapped as he stopped and spun around to face him. "Since when do you give a shit about Amos Diggory?! Just last week you thought he was an arrogant show off!"

"You're twice the arrogant show off he is and it doesn't make you any less than my best friend, does it? I'm not the one who has a problem here, Prongs." Sirius spat.

"Yes you are! Why are you taking his defense? Fancy him or something?" James asked sarcastically.

"I don't give a shit about that dork, Prongs! The only thing that bothers me right now is the fact that we're fighting because of a _bird_! You know, I really thought our friendship was above that!"

"I've told you she-is-not-just-a-bird!" James yelled.

Sirius swallowed, looking at him dead in the eye.

"Is this the only word you've heard from what I just said? Because if it is, I think I don't have anything to say to you anymore."

"I'm fighting with you because you're being an idiot." James replied calmly.

"Aren't _you_ being an idiot for wasting your time stalking them?"

"I am _not_ stalking them!" James yelled.

Sirius stared at him. James had to look away, for he knew he had just told a big lie. Sirius sighed.

"Okay, listen. If you really love her, all you have to do is talk to her. But you can't stay like this, you're just ruining yourself, and making a fool out of you on top of that. Because the only one who suffers right now out of you two is you."

And with that, Sirius continued his way towards the castle. James watched him, guilt slowly creeping in his chest.

He knew Sirius was right. He knew what he had told him before he had done so, only he just wouldn't listen to himself. Not having her was already hard, but seeing her with another was unbearable. And so, after hours of overthinking by the lake where Sirius had left him, James finally stood up and headed to the boys' dormitories. He had to cross the common room, where he more or less ignored everyone, including Remus and Peter, who had already met a very angry Sirius earlier. James looked for the map in his trunk, and eventually he found Sirius at the Astronomy Tower.

It was already dark when James had reached the tower; of course Sirius was there, smoking a cigarette as he leaned on the edge where the beautiful panorama offered a nice view upon the Forbidden Forest. He coughed awkwardly to get his attention, but the only move Sirius did was to bring the cigarette to his lips, as though he had heard him coming. James rolled his eyes.

"You can't ignore me forever, Pads; you sleep in the bed next to mine."

"I'll draw the curtains, then." Sirius blew out rings of smoke.

"Don't be so dramatic…"

"Who's being dramatic?" Sirius spun around to face him, bewildered.

"You, currently."

"Excuse _you_! You've been whining all day!"

"Sirius, you're standing alone under the starry night sky, smoking and sulking. It can't get any more dramatic."

"Maybe I like being alone when certain people piss me off."

"See? Dramatic. You got pissed off because I wasn't being nice enough about Diggory. So what?"

"Incorrect. I _am_ pissed off because you weren't being nice _at all_ to _me_."

"Oh, get over it," James rolled his eyes. "We're mates, we're practically supposed to be mean to each other."

"Now you're calling _me_ mean? I'll show you some _mean_! You're so in love you're turning into a girl!"

"I'm not in love."

Sirius scoffed and turned his back to him, facing the panorama again. James sighed and walked over to Sirius and leaned on the edge next to him.

"I just like her an awful lot."

"Yeah I got that, thank you very much." Sirius said bitterly.

"What's your problem? Is it Evans? What's wrong with her?"

Sirius remained quiet for a moment; the tables turned.

"She's got all your attention." He spoke at last. "When she's around, it's like I don't even exist. And when she's not, you barely listen to me, because you're too busy thinking aobut her."

"That's not true…" James said, frowning.

"Really? Tell me then, when was the last time you actually enjoyed the time we were spending together?"

"All the time," James replied.

"Yeah, right." Sirius shook his head and looked back at the horizon.

James swallowed as he stared at his best friend. A wave of guilt washed over him, and for the first time in forever, he felt ashamed of himself. Sirius was right after all… even though James enjoyed being with him, he realized the only subject they had been talking about for weeks now was Lily. How hard could it be for Sirius? James himself couldn't stand it when Sirius bragged about the girls he shagged, and he barely even did. The war had started, and they might lose each other; James should be grateful to be able to speak to his best friend every day. He did love Lily. She was the one, and she and always been. But Sirius was his _brother_ ; and he couldn't risk losing him.

"Did you see when I almost fell of my broom today, though?" James said.

Sirius' lips shuddered, but he held back his emotions.

"No, seriously, I almost got a heart attack. I literally lost my shit up there."

"Thank Merlin you didn't lose it just as you flew over Diggory's head…"

James and Sirius glanced at each other, and both of burst out laughing. James felt some kind of relief; they could still laugh after all. He guessed it was Sirius' way to show him he had forgotten him. And as their laughter echoed in the night, James promised himself from now on everyday shall be like that night; hilarious.


End file.
